


Nightmares And Hot Chocolate

by secretly_a_plant



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 14:38:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14771567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretly_a_plant/pseuds/secretly_a_plant
Summary: Hi! Wow, um, I hope you enjoyed that? Even though I'm pretty sure it was a literal train wreck? Anyways.p.s. Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. :)Come visit me on Tumblr:friendly-neighborhood-asexual





	Nightmares And Hot Chocolate

_Crash._

And just like that, I'm awake.

Well, not _just_ like that. It takes me a few minutes to register that one, I'm awake. Two, something probably just broke. And three, Simon is not lying next to me.

If I'm being completely honest, it's probably only the last one that gets me out of bed.

“Simon?”

"In here.”

I here a meek response coming from the kitchen. I walk in to find my boyfriend sitting on the linoleum floor amidst a puddle of broken ceramics and spilled coffee.

“Simon? Are you alright”

“I’m fine”

He sounds hollow. Empty.

“No, you’re not."

He shrugs.

"Go change in to dry clothes while I clean this up.” I wait a few moments, but he makes no move to stand up. “Come on. Up you go.” I say while lifting him up off the floor. He makes no effort to stand on his own two legs, much less walk to the bedroom. He just clings to me like his life depends on it. He starts crying. No, crying isn’t the right word. He starts sobbing. Huge, body-wracking, sobs. He sobs like everything that ever made him want to cry was building up behind a dam, and the dam just broke.

“Shh. It’s alright, love. It’s alright.”

“I-it seemed so, so _real_ ” He heaved. “And you were, you were-” He breaks off before he can finish his sentence.

“Shhhh. I’m here now. It’s all over. You’re safe now, love.”

We sink to the floor. And for a few minutes, that’s all we do. I sit there, Simon clings to me, and I just let him cry. Eventually, he stops. As he hiccups and sniffles, I press a kiss to his hair.

“Simon,”

“Yeah?”

“You need to go change. Come on, I’ll clean up and make us hot chocolate.”

“Ok”

He stands and shakily walks out of the room. He still looks numb, but at least he’s calmed down. 

* * *

 

I finish mixing the drinks just as he reenters the kitchen. His eyes are red and swollen and his hair is a disaster, but other than that he looks calm. We sit in silence, only interrupted by the sound of a mug hitting the table or a car passing our flat.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?” I say, completely shocked.

“For being such a mess.”

“Simon, never, ever, apologize for that. You have been through so much, seen so much, and yet you still find a way to carry on every day. And every day, you get a little bit better. I think that’s a miracle. Don’t ever apologize for something like this.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Every word. Let’s go to bed and get some sleep, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

* * *

 

We snuggle down under our duvet. The only light in the room comes from the moon and the street lights.

“Baz?”

“Yes?”

“You’re the reason I carry on.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Wow, um, I hope you enjoyed that? Even though I'm pretty sure it was a literal train wreck? Anyways.
> 
> p.s. Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. :) 
> 
> Come visit me on Tumblr:
> 
> friendly-neighborhood-asexual


End file.
